From: sartrette	Date: February 25th, 2007 05:12 am (UTC)		(Link)

Hello :)

You added me...Who are you, and why did you add me? Just curious :p

Have a nice weekend!

	From: ulvain	Date: February 25th, 2007 05:29 am (UTC)		(Link)

Hya!

Well, I friended you for several reasons...

1) My brother, conscioussoul, read part of your LJ and found it interresting, so it got me curious...

2) My ex (since yesterday - so sorry if anything I write seems a bit emotional) was suffering from Borderline Personnality Disorder, so I feel I can relate - I really, REALLY know how hard it is, what it implies, etc

3) You're from CMF as well - I absolutely hated my stay there and I don't know how you liked it, but I instinctively feel some sort of camaradery with anyone that's been through that snobish hell-hole (sorry if you actually liked it - maybe it changed since I was tere - 1985 to 1998).

Plus... I don't know, I like the little prince... bah, call it instinct! :)

From: sartrette	Date: February 25th, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Cool, I'll add you back!
I'm quite sorry about your ex-girlfriend, I know, by looking at those around me, how hard it is to live with someone with BPD.
I HATED CMF! So snob, and, and...Argh, I just didn't like it.
I love Le Petit Prince, as a matter of fact I'm getting a tattoo of him in a few weeks :)

Anyways, have a nice end of weekend!

	From: ulvain	Date: February 26th, 2007 01:47 am (UTC)		(Link)

Hmmm... You know, I've just read a bit of your LJ, to get a feel of who you are a bit... and - even though I don't know you at all - I really feel I understand the underlying pain of some of the stuff you wrote...

Maybe some of it doesn't apply anymore, but - see - I've got this nasty tendancy of getting a feeling that if I get even the vague impression I can help someone, I should try.

But I've also learned from hard experience that trying to "help" someone that havn't requested any help usually ends up doing the opposite effect.

But - yet again - I've also been able to see on a first-hand basis how terribly and painfuly non-understood people with BPD can feel, and the pain that can go with that feeling of being abandoned, not understood, (falsly) worthless, etc.

I don't know.

I just feel I can understand and help a bit. But I don't want to impose...

From: sartrette	Date: February 26th, 2007 11:21 am (UTC)		(Link)

Well, thank you, you sound like you have really good intentions. I guess that the simple fact that you care and that you took the time to read my LJ is helpfull (especially for self-esteem) :)
I'm doing okay these days though, I don't really need anyone right now, but if I ever feel like you could help, I'll tell you.
Oh, and unconfortable question: did the fact that it's over with your ex-girlfriend has something to do with BPD (impulsiveness, love-hate relationships, ect.)?? I'd understand if you don't wanna answer.
Have a nice week!

	From: ulvain	Date: February 26th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)		(Link)

It's very hard to say, if it has anything to do with BPD. You see, contrary to most mental conditions that can only be "put under control" with proper therapy, BPD can actually be *cured*.

What I mean is that what the borderline condition actually is - and please bear with me if you already know all that of course - is an ensemble of interlocked behaviours, defense mechanisms and coping mechanisms. In other terms, there are rarely or ever any chemical disbalancement in the brain, so with proper therapy, the borderline condition can really be dismantled.

All that to say that my ex had been undergoing therapy for a good year, now, and she had made tremendous, incredible improvements. Her impulsivness had largely diminished, she had no rage or blankness crisies anymore, her empathy augmented, her self-esteem started to go up again...

But it can take more than 1 year to get everything completely dismantled. And our 2 years and a half relationship was ended in a weird way, I'm not certain if the BPD has anything to do with it...

You know, one thing I've found - that I hope will be good for your self-esteem since it's sincere - is that all that's good in the personnality of someone with BPD is really them. The open-mindedness, the intelligence, the imagination, etc (I don't know you enough to know which qualities apply to you) are really from your personnality, and most of the person with BPD doesn't like about him or herself *IS* because of the BPD.

That is contrary to people that are maniaco-depressive, for instance, that are not themselves when they're in a depression phase any more than when they're ina mania phase...

In other terms, you ARE a good person, even if there are things of yourself you don't like - those things are not YOU! :)

One last thing...

Again, I feel I'm not in my place, not knowing you and all, to go ahead and talk about one of the posts that worried me. But at the same time, since it's written on your LJ, I guess it's there to be read and commented upon...

See, a few of your posts speak of your annorexia. And that's very, very worrying to me. One of the BPD characteristics is the engagement in self-destructive behaviours. Some people with BPD self-destruct through drugs, some with excessive eating, some, oppositely, through annorexia, some through unsafe sex, some through unconsciously trying to be hated by the one they loves...

But what's both sure and very worrying is that - unless that doesn't apply anymore - the behaviour you were describing in those posts is really, really bad for you. It *hurts* you, and you don't deserve to be hurt...

I hope I didn't anger you in saying all that, but I beleive is speaking my mind... If you want to go get a cup of coffee at some point, wave to me, it'll be a pleasure to...

From: sartrette	Date: February 26th, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Wow, thanks for caring :)
I am not 'actively' anorexic anymore. I have reached a healthy weight and I am maintaining it. It's still hard, I can just hope that I won't relapse. Of course you haven't angered me, you're so nice!
Coffee? Uhm, maybe a bit later, I like to take my precautions with Internet people, sorry :p

	From: ulvain	Date: February 26th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)		(Link)

For the coffee, absolutely and entierly understandable - and please do not mistake my suggesting it for any kind of flirting whatsoever... I'm just a bit shaken these days and talking to people just takes my mind of all that's happend...

actually, to be quite honest, I think a part of me is quite happy to be caring for other people's problems right now - it helps in forgetting my own... :-/